A Misspent Youth

I feel as if I’m always on a journey of self discovery. I’ve become introspective in my “old age”. As my period of experimentation comes to a close, I’ve adopted a persona that finally feels authentic. But this destination was only possible through the trials and tribulations of a serious warped decade. What if I was locked in a box for 15 years without the opportunity to get my groove back? Who would I be today? I was thinking this train of thought as I was watching Oprah Winfrey last night. The guest was Marty Tankleff. Full disclosure: My sister attended high school with this kid and she probably has more insight into this case than I do. If you are not familiar, Martin is the trust fund brat who was who was convicted of murdering his wealthy parents, but his conviction was vacated and he was released from prison 17 years later. This is a fascinating story of a delayed reaction from the criminal justice system. But what struck me was the segment where he was driving around his hometown of Belle Terre. Maybe I am projecting my own issues onto this unfortunate fellow. But I can’t imagine picking up the pieces of a shattered existence in the same spot 20 years later. Surreal doesn’t cover it. The montage of him walking around “down Port” greeting pedestrians like a local hero was freaky. Believe me, I love attention, but even I have to draw the line at a botched double homicide conviction. Beyond the frustration of being locked up for a crime you didn’t commit, he missed out on his youth. If your 20’s are the chutes and ladders of your arrested development, they contribute to the person you ultimately become. If you don’t get the chance to embrace your inner train wreck, is it possible to evolve into maturity? If Facebook teaches us anything, it is that we have come into contact with a wide array of personalities. Each one leaves its own imprint. For his sake, I hope that his life experience in prison had some intrinsic value, despite the toxic climate. Leave it to me to turn this true crime sage into a metaphysical morality play. But I have been told I have a unique perspective on life. The flip side of this dilemma is the thrill it must be to be back in the game. For those of us who may be stuck in a rut, the novelty of independence has worn off. It is nice to see somebody genuinely pleased to be “out and about”. Too bad, he had to endue misery to transcend the drab reality of suburbia! None of this has anything to do with my next selection. Regardless, it is a glorious anthem to the light bulb moments that provide us with necessary clarity.