The Alphabet of Manliness

Most men feel pressured to act masculine. To appear weak, emotional, or oversensitive is a major threat to their self-esteem. To be content, men must feel that they are decisive, self-assured, and rational. One advantage to being a homosexual is that it releases you from the strict contract of masculinity that the majority of dudes adhere to. In the 80’s, there was a real revolution against the traditional gender roles that were enforced by the baby boomers. But there was a reverse trend that resulted in the term “quiche-eater”, a man who is effeminate or who lacks masculine virtue. Expressing your finer feelings is a dangerous game because it makes you vulnerable to public scorn. But if you pretend that you are an emotionally remote robot, there will be a high psychological price to pay. This was the dichotomy to growing up in the Eighties. There was a machismo culture that was on the surface of mainstream society. But there was an androgynous backlash that was being promoted by pop culture. In other words, young men could wear eyeliner without being accused of being a fag. But don’t let yourself be caught in a tender moment with your heart on your sleeve. A recent exhibition captured images of men letting their guard down and having a good weep. Crying Men is a series of photographic portraits of famous film actors breaking the ultimate male taboo. It is always illuminating to catch a person in a private moment. But the subjects here underscore the harsh conditioning that we are all subject to. In 1984, Robin Gibb decided on address this hot topic with a catchy lament about the dangers of modern masculinity. He adopted a contemporary sound to sell this clarion call to “the kids”. He did manage to convince my sister to spend her allowance on this single. But the serious message got lost in the shuffle as this tune limped to #71 in the U.K.