Me, myself and I

Life On Your Own
Current mood: touched
Category: Life

Christopher McCandless: Happiness is only real when shared.

In the intense society drop-out drama Into The Wild, this is the protagonist’s last piece of acquired wisdom. Which is kind of odd when you consider that this character believes that human contact is not necessary for happiness and never seeks out romantic relationships. In fact, he spends the final leg of the film in a “magic bus” far away from all civilization. He certainly seems to have many private joyous moments before he eventually meets his maker. As somebody who spends the majority of his down-time alone, I started to wonder whether this statement was true. It brings to mind the old proverb “No man is an island”, in other words, we all rely on others and no-one is self-sufficient. But do you really need to depend on others for your emotional satisfaction? Or can you “make it happen” all on your own? Don’t get me wrong, I love to socialize, but I don’t feel the need to surround myself with miscellaneous persons all the time. You can call it extreme independence, but I accomplish a lot in the privacy of my own company. Like Mr. McCandless, I enjoy social encounters when they present themselves, but I don’t go out of my way to seek them out. But perhaps I am missing out life’s great rewards. It didn’t always used to be this way. Back in my heyday, I used to always travel with an entourage. This was a coterie of confidantes chosen for their ability to amuse and entertain me. The companions usually served as fashion accessories, because they were also selected for their style. In retrospect, it was probably not the deepest foundation for a friendship, but I did enjoy the company and the attention. Nowadays, I usually fly solo, unencumbered by human accouterments. As I become older, I find I have less time for OPP (other people’s problems). This is a change of policy for me, because I used to feed off the second hand drama. I loved to experience the emotional roller-coaster without ever taking the relationship ride myself. But maybe I am denying myself the only true source of happiness. But I have been single for as long as I can remember, and I would probably resist any future coupling. I am reminded of the Quirky Alone movement which continues to offer an alternative to the serial daters amongst us. I looked up the official definition.

Quirkyalone: noun/adj. A person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than dating for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status.

Is this just another word for Loser? Is this like telling the world you are celibate, when in fact you can’t score a date? or does this represent a genuine alternative path to self actualization? I have always considered myself a rebel, but perhaps the conventional wisdom on romance is too great to resist. But the majority of folks seem to take equal parts ecstasy and agony from their significant other. Although I would never completely cut off human contact like Supertramp, I don’t need it to exist. As long as you are constantly seeking validation from others, you are always going to be insecure. Maybe my advanced age had provided me with a little insight after all. Or maybe this whole post is just an elaborate defense mechanism. Whatever! I will probably continue to be a “solo artist”. Whether that makes me a quirky alone or just another lone wolf, I don’t know. But I will try to “share” more often, just in case that is the secret to enlightenment.